I wrote this letter to my cousin and also formed it into a blog today.

My wife and I teach a combined total of 570-- 6th through 12th graders a day. About 80% of that total is girls and the rest boys. We don't teach in a typical cross section of American values, our community is pretty conservative, but we do see the difficulties of modern adolescence in some degree. I think the key paragraph in the article you forwarded is the one I have cut out and include below:

"RAND also said adolescents were less likely to initiate sexual intercourse if their parents monitored their activities, if their parents had more education, if they lived with both parents, if their parents did not approve of them having sexual relations, if they were religious and if they were in good mental health."

Television does not carry the same programming as when we grew up. Today, crude and vulgar, immorality portrayed as "normal," and sex or skin to draw viewers are certainly the average fare. The key is that children not be left on their own to choose programming. More than that, the key is that children not be left on their own, period.

One big problem that we see at school is that both moms and teenaged girls have bought into the sexual dress portrayed on TV and in the movies as being acceptable. When we discipline a girl who is wearing too short of a skirt, see-through clothing, cleavage to her belly button, or pants that don't cover her midriff for example, her mother may arrive at school and berate the administration, saying that the student's outfit is just fine. What is wrong with us? (They ask.) When they bring the young girl more clothes, those moms are sometimes dressed inappropriately to be at school themselves. I've seen moms in tight shirts with bulging cleavage, braless moms, moms wearing "daisy-dukes" short shorts, and even a sports bra and spandex bike shorts walk into the school. Somehow we have traded modesty in for exhibitionism. The men have always wanted it that way (as long as it was not our wife or daughter who was immodest). Our dream was that our neighbor's wife or daughter would be immodest. That male attitude has been taken over by many women today. They want to exhibit their "buff" bodies and say "what do you think of that!" Well we think it is sexy. It just may not be appropriate in every setting.

On the other hand. . .we have many deeply religious students who never wear inappropriate dress. Even though we grew up in the 60's and 70's with hippies, flower children and free love, on the whole, students are now having sex at a younger age, with more partners, and more often than was happening in the free love society when we were in college. The most striking change to me is that "oral sex" is considered no more than "foreplay." Many of our young "virgins" regularly service their boyfriends with oral sex while maintaining their "virginity." In fact some have had oral sex with a dozen or more boys and maintain that they are virgins. Many also expect to receive oral sex in return. We also hear about middle school girls being invited to parties to strip and give oral sex to high school boys. Seems like a topsy turvey world. How did orgies trickle down to our 12-14 year old daughters?

In truth though, this is not happening to any great degree among students whose parents are active in their lives. Parents who don't leave their students unchaperoned or let them go to unchaperoned parties have much safer children. Parents who ask questions and investigate answers have students walking the straight and narrow. I do still see innocence in many of my students and I think that is a wonderful shield that allows them to mature in a non-sexual environment.

I like to see my little girls and their cellphones. I hear them ring after school and the students answer and say "hi, mom." Mom wants to know where they are, when they'll be home, where they are going, who is going with them." It is almost like putting a leash on the child in this modern society. I think many parents are finding benefits in putting a mobile phone in their daughter's purse.

I'm not sure TV is the problem. I think TV is just a symptom of the excesses of a capitalistic economy/society. I was just reading yesterday about how completely underground pornography was under communism. Immorality was kept under much stricter control than we have in a free society. I like freedom. I think lack of parental involvement and sometimes bad judgement by parents is the problem. Many of my students are too busy for TV. They have music lessons, dance, art class, debate team, service clubs, church activities, scouting, 4 H, homework, drama, riding lessons, SAT classes, sports, cheerleading, part-time jobs, and driver education after school.

I remain an advocate for public education. Teachers on the whole are doing well. Students are learning well. Order and discpline is being taught. Safety is a primary concern. It is a big system and problems arise. But we are dealing with them one at a time--one student and one parent at a time. I believe that public education is the number one reason that the United States of America is the leader of the world.