On the last day before Spring Break each year, I post the audition results from this year, placing students in their chorus classes for next year. We have a big program and the students are very competitive about moving into the top choirs. When they view the list at the end of the day, there is joy that brings them to tears and sadness too. And then others cry because their friends are crying. There is a lot of crying. Non-chorus students who are walking by are totally mystified. If students make it into an "A" choir, they remember the moment for years. I've asked them about it and they can recall every detail of the revelation. "I kept looking at my name and then up and the name of the choir and back at my name. I was sure there was some mistake." Another told me, "I couldn't get close enough to the list see it so I was just standing on the side when I heard someone shouting, "Katie made Chamber! My heart was pounding and I wondered, "Can that be me?" It changes their life in a small way. They feel as though it is a promotion, but actually it is only a recognition of what they have already accomplished. I don't promote them because I hope they can do the work at the next level. Rather, I place them in choirs based on what they already have shown that they can do. If I have a question about it, I don't move them up. It is a long process overall. Each student has spent 15 minutes with me going through a musical obstacle course. I've done 200 auditions spread over every school day in the past two months. Each student has been through the process and is full of self doubt about how they performed. They are terrible judges of their ability. The best ones sieze on every slight error that they heard themselves make. The worst ones know they are terrible singers but really have no clue as to how they did on tonal memory or sight singing because they just can't do those things at all. So they are all pretty much in the dark. The realistic appraisals come from a few students. I'll hear some say to a friend. "I'm was terrible in the audition, but I don't care. I just like to sing." Another when asked how she did said in a quiet voice, "I think I did pretty good. We'll just see how many people beat me." That's a terrific way to look at it. That last student had the fourth best score overall this year.

There are some unexplained anomolies to me. Some students don't check the lists for days. It makes so little difference to them what choir they are in that they just don't look at it. There is a reality in that. It is a notch in your belt to move into a top choir, but you don't really need notches in a belt. If you don't need an ego boost then it just doesn't make that much difference.

There is a ripple effect that is interesting too. In our cell phone age, they girls phone home standing there looking at the list. "Mom, I made Singers! Yes, I'm sure. I'm standing here looking at the list." Then she looks are her friend and says "My mom is crying."

As for me, it is a tough day. I'm elated for the happy ones and moved to tears for the sad ones. I am the object of anger for some. The joy of a tenth grader, leaping up and down with her friends saying "I made Singers, I made Singers!" is the image I like to keep in my mind. There are 20 new McIntosh Singers today.